He Would Not Stay for Me
by probablyquantum
Summary: I shook his hand, and tore my heart in sunder, and went with half my life about my ways. Anakin/Obi-Wan slash. One-Shot.


**A/N: I've never written for this pairing before, so I wanted to start small. Let me know what you think. **

Description: During the Clone Wars, Anakin and Obi-Wan pause on a balcony. Anakin has something to say. The fic is based around an A.E. Housman poem. Anakin/Obi-Wan angsty slash. One-shot.

Pairing: Anakin/Obi-Wan

Warnings: M/M slash; unrequited love.

Rating: T for slashiness, but nothing sexually explicit.

Genre: Angst/Romance

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, but if I did, I'd share it you for free. I also don't own the poem by A.E. Housman, but I'm fairly sure that it's public domain by now.

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_He would not stay for me, and who can wonder?  
He would not stay for me to stand and gaze.  
I shook his hand, and tore my heart in sunder,  
And went with half my life about my ways._

A.E. Housman

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Anakin waited until he was safely down the hall, out of sight of the Council's disapproving glares, before grinning. Finally he was getting the recognition he deserved. Granted, it wasn't like they were giving him a seat on the Council, but that would come in time.

His own battle group! Three Star Destroyers would soon be his to command. He'd already picked the one he wanted for his flagship. The _Resolute _would be a perfect match for his leadership abilities.

He leaned against a balcony railing so he could look out over the city and dream. He considered all the possible battle plans. He imagined returning triumphant from Bothawui. Perhaps then he'd see more than toleration in the Council's eyes.

He refused to let them spoil his mood. This was a good day for him. He felt a familiar presence behind him, a welcome tingle through his bond, and knew Obi-Wan was behind him.

"Master," he said without turning around.

"An accomplished Jedi General like yourself hardly needs to be calling me 'Master,' don't you agree?"

"Sorry, Master." Anakin's smile softened but lingered playfully on his lips.

Obi-Wan stood beside him, close enough for their elbows to touch as they leaned against the rail. "I don't need to ask if you're pleased with the Council's decision. I know you'll fulfill your duty admirably."

Anakin looked over at Obi-Wan, and his breath caught like it had countless times before. He'd long ago noticed that his Master was beautiful, but today, with his spirits soaring from the good news and his senses alert in preparation for the looming battle, Obi-Wan looked radiant. His golden hair had grown a little too long, and as it fluttered in the breeze it shone in the late-afternoon light. His expression was unguarded in a rare display of emotion. His blue eyes sparkled, and in those eyes Anakin saw pride, even love.

His Master was happy. He, Anakin, had made Obi-Wan happy. It was what he'd always wanted, and he wanted more, his duties to Padme and the Jedi be damned.

If there had been a gradual change, he did not notice it; but he recalled the moment he realized the truth. He could not name the battle or the system they were in, but there was a moment when Anakin sliced his lightsaber through a droid closing in on Obi-Wan, when his Master spun around to meet his gaze. There was no Master and Apprentice then, just Obi-Wan and Anakin and a war raging around them. Obi-Wan nodded, and in the next second he was spinning, defending against a new attacker. The moment was gone, but Anakin was changed forever. Ever since Obi-Wan had looked at him like an equal, a fire burned in his gut whenever they were close.

Self-doubt stopped him from acting on his urges. With Padme, with war, with the Council, he barged right in and demanded what he wanted, and he never stopped until he got it. But with Obi-Wan? A single shake of a head would destroy him.

But no one could hurt him today. He was a Jedi General, with three Star Destroyers under his command, poised to prove himself in battle within a few short days. If he couldn't risk it now, when could he ever?

"I wish you could come with me," he said, his voice pitched lower.

Obi-Wan's expression faded from happy to contemplative, but his eyes did not close off his emotions. "I wish that too. But I have my assignment, and you have yours. We cannot always fight side by side."

_He would not stay for me, and who can wonder? _

"I wish we could stay like this forever."

That got Obi-Wan's attention. His Master's perfect eyes darted in several directions, as if searching different parts of Anakin's face for clues to what was going on.

Anakin lifted his left hand to Obi-Wan's cheek, just barely touching the warm skin. "I'd die happy if all I did from now on was look at you," he whispered.

The openness in Obi-Wan's eyes disappeared, and Anakin was looking at a familiar Jedi mask.

_He would not stay for me to stand and gaze. _

It was too late to back out now. There was one thing he wanted, if he could have nothing else. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against Obi-Wan's.

Obi-Wan stood still as stone, neither returning the kiss nor pushing him away. It was as close to permission as Anakin would ever get, so he pressed harder.

His Master's lips were chapped from his latest battle, and they tasted like sweat and blood. It was the most delicious flavor he'd ever encountered. He memorized it.

He caught Obi-Wan's lower lip between his own as he pulled away.

_I shook his hand, and tore my heart in sunder . . . _

They stared at each other with two sets of blue eyes that could not have been more different: one desperate and pleading; another blank, wary.

"Anakin." It was a hoarse whisper, the only indication that Obi-Wan was unsettled behind the Jedi façade.

"Obi-Wan." His voice was low and sultry.

In his dreams, Obi-Wan would shiver in response. But here, in the harsh afternoon light, Obi-Wan pulled away and straightened his back. "Please do not do that again."

Anakin could barely hear him over the distant roar of traffic.

_And went with half my life about my ways._

With a few quick strides, Obi-Wan was gone, and Anakin was alone.

All he had left was war. The _Resolute_, Bothawui. Padme, Palpatine. The Council. He would make them all proud. He would show them all. It had to be enough—there wasn't anything else.

-END-


End file.
